How to Stop Feeling Stuck in Life: The Two Levers of Change

Ever feel like you’re pushing hard but getting nowhere? Like you’re stuck in a tug-of-war between what you want and what actually is?

You’re not alone.

Many of us are carrying tension we can’t explain. A quiet, constant frustration that bubbles up when life doesn’t go to plan. I’ve felt it too.

In a recent post I talked about naming your weather and accepting what you can and can’t control. Today I want to talk about another way we can tackle the question of how to stop feeling stuck in life.

One thing that really helped me break this cycle and learn how to stop feeling stuck was understanding this – when it comes to creating change or feeling fulfilled, we only ever have two levers we can play with.

And most of the time, we’re either pulling both at once or yanking the wrong one.

Let me explain.

Lever One: It Is What It Is

This is the lever of acceptance.

It sounds passive, but it’s far from it. Accepting something doesn’t mean giving up. It means recognising reality for what it is—and choosing not to waste your energy resisting it.

Sometimes our greatest suffering comes from arguing with what already is.

The question this lever invites you to ask is: “Can I accept this as it is?“

Your partner’s behaviour. The market you’re working in. Your past. Even your own limits. What if, just for a moment, you stopped trying to fix it and simply acknowledged it?

That moment alone can bring a sense of peace. And peace is powerful.

Because from peace, we can choose our next move with clarity instead of chaos.

A quick story: I worked with a client who was constantly frustrated by a slow business partner. Every week, the tension built. But when he finally accepted that this partner wasn’t going to change overnight, his energy shifted. He stopped pushing, and instead redirected his focus toward what he could do. That small change brought huge relief.

Lever Two: The Growth Lever

This one is about action and influence.

It’s the lever we pull when we decide, “Okay, maybe I can’t control this—but what can I shift?”

This is where courage comes in. It’s the small decisions that add up to big changes:

• Changing your daily habits
• Adjusting how you respond
• Asking for support
• Setting clearer boundaries

The Growth Lever is about reclaiming your power in the areas you can influence.

Not everything is fixable, but a lot more is movable than we first think.

If you’re wondering how to stop feeling stuck in life, this lever often holds your next step.

Real example: A coach I worked with felt trapped in a cycle of undercharging. She knew she offered value but feared raising prices. When she pulled the growth lever—by practicing value-based conversations—she slowly built the confidence to shift her pricing. That one change freed up both income and self-respect.

My Take: The Danger of Misuse

When I first came across these ideas (through my coaching and a Tony Robbins course), it hit hard.

I realised I was trying to change things I hadn’t actually accepted. It created inner tension that left me feeling drained and stuck.

That was a lightbulb moment.

When these two levers are out of sync, progress feels like pushing a boulder uphill. We force what can’t be forced, or we surrender when action is what’s needed.

Balance is key. It’s knowing when to surrender to what is and when to rise up and change what can be.

It’s also the difference between constant stress and calm, focused energy.

Once you understand how to stop feeling stuck in life by using these levers wisely, everything starts to feel more doable.

What This Means in Real Life

Here’s where many of us get tangled: we’re stuck not because we’re lazy or incapable, but because we’re misreading what the moment calls for.

Some challenges are asking for our acceptance. Others are asking for our courage.

The wisdom is in knowing the difference.

When you pause long enough to ask, “Is this something to accept, or something to change?” you switch from auto-pilot to intentional action.

That question alone is a game-changer.

When people ask how to stop feeling stuck in life, they’re often asking how to find clarity. And clarity begins with asking better questions.

Action Plan: Use the Levers of Change

1. Identify a Challenge
Think about a situation that’s been bothering you lately. Write it down. Get specific.

2. Ask the Big Question
Is this something I need to accept or something I need to change?

3. Practice Acceptance
Pick one area of your life where acceptance might bring peace. Sit with it. Let go of the fight.

4. Choose One Small Action
If it’s change you need, identify just one step you could take this week to influence that situation. Keep it doable.

5. Reflect
At the end of the week, check in. How did it feel to use the right lever? What shifted?

6. Return to the Question Often
Whenever you feel stuck again, revisit the same question: Is it time to accept, or is it time to act?

Final Thought

Most of the frustration we feel comes from pulling the wrong lever. Once you see it, you can change it.

And if you feel like you’re pulling both at once and getting nowhere—you’re not broken. You’re just out of sync.

Learning how to stop feeling stuck in life isn’t about magic solutions. It’s about learning to use these two tools with more awareness and intention.

And if you feel like you’re overdue for a reset, this could be the starting point.

What about you? Where in your life do you need more acceptance—and where is it time to lean into growth?

Ready to get unstuck? If you’re tired of spinning your wheels, let’s talk. A free 15-minute call might just be the start of a calmer, more focused chapter.

Until next time,
Paul 🙂